There are a few days that stick out in my mind when I think back over my life...kind of like mile markers, tracing my path from one year to the next, one city to another. The day Marlowe Mae was born has been added to this list and aside from the day Kyle and I were married, it's been the most memorable so far. If I were to draw it out on paper, her birthday would have the most hearts drawn around it, the most arrows pointing to it, with big red underlines... saying "This day! This day changed my life."
It technically started the morning of September 15th, around 3:30am to be exact. Up until this point I had been having a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions where my abdomen would get so tight, so fast that it felt like I was having the wind knocked right of me. But this contraction was different, it had a familiar, crampy feeling...one I hadn't missed in the least over the past 9 months...and it wasn't just one, it was a wave of them -cycling up and down like clockwork for about 2 hours, about 6 minutes apart. I knew this because I was tracking them on my phone while simultaneously texting my sister.
"This could be it!" she said. "Just keep timing, if they slow down or go away it's false labor. But even if it is, real labor could be coming soon!"
By 6am, they had slowed, enough for me to drift back to sleep even. I woke up with my alarm feeling disappointed...a little relieved...and definitely exhausted.
I was only 39 weeks along after all, and not due until the 21st, so I brushed it off as just my body preparing itself, dragged myself out of bed and got ready for work. Over the course of the day I had a few more contractions but there was enough distance between them that I never felt overly concerned.
That night, Kyle and I went for a walk around the neighborhood. It was a pleasant evening, still in the low 70s with a slight breeze and it felt good to be getting some fresh air and walking hand in hand. I knew the days of us being a family of two were limited. The anticipation of seeing our little girl for the first time was so strong, I could burst...but behind the anticipation there was a tiny soft voice saying, "Enjoy it...these moments together. It's all about to change. Squeeze his hand a little tighter."
By the third lap around the block we had finally solidified the two names we would pick from once we saw her for the first time. In a way it was kind of like the final item to be checked off the list before she could arrive.
Made it past 37 weeks? Check. Tied up everything at work? Check. Have a name? Check. Ok, you can come now!
We went to bed around 11? I honestly can't remember because from this point forward everything in my memory seems to be on fast forward.
I woke up in the early morning hours feeling waves of cramps again. They were starting in my back and moving their way around to my front with much more intensity than the night before, causing me to curl up into a ball with each tightening. I woke up Kyle with my wincing and he could tell that I was really in a lot of pain. I had started timing again and as each contraction kicked in, I would hit the Start button on my App. Kyle would watch and start counting down the seconds to let me know when it was almost over, all the while rubbing my lower back. "20 more seconds, it's almost over, you got this. 10 more seconds...almost done. You're doing great. This is exactly what's supposed to be happening."
By 6am they were starting to get more and more consistent but still weren't the magic 5-1-1 (5 minutes apart, 1 minute long, for 1 hour). I walked around and tried out various positions to try and ease the pain. The only thing that felt even remotely comfortable was lying on my side.
At around 7:30am we decided to call the hospital. The nurse said to take our time and just come within the next couple of hours or so. Kyle got his bag together, made breakfast and started packing the car. I on the other hand still didn't believe I was in active labor so I was taking my time...lounging on my bed, thinking through what I had packed and still wanted to bring along. I got up to put my contacts in but had to take a break mid-way through and lie down to breathe through a contraction. I got up again to brush my hair and the same thing happened. At this point, I started to get a little panicked. They were now only about 2-3 minutes apart and strong. I barely got my things together before we had to rush out the door.
As we drove to the hospital, I asked Kyle to pray for us. I know it was a sweet prayer, but all I can remember are my hands gripping the sides of the chair, as I waited for it to be over so I could add in,
"and please help me be able to get an epidural!" because I knew things were progressing quickly.
It was a beautiful sunny morning as we pulled into the parking garage but it felt so surreal... Kyle pulling into the "active labor" parking space, entering the Labor & Delivery center knowing that the next time we walked out, we would have a baby in our arms. After 9 months, this was really it, this was happening.
We checked-in and were walked back to the admittance room. When the nurse checked me, I was already dilated to 6cm and 90% effaced. "Were you wanting an epidural?" she asked. "Yes, am I too late?" I quickly responded. She didn't think so but asked for the anesthesiologist to meet us right away in our delivery room because it was getting close. She drew my blood and then whisked us upstairs. I was so relieved - relieved that the pain would be ending soon and relieved that we weren't being sent home or told to walk the halls for hours on end.
We got to the delivery room and Kyle helped me get situated on the bed while the nurse hooked me up to the monitors. The anesthesiologist arrived but couldn't start the epidural until we had my blood results back. Here's where it got really difficult. The contractions were coming fast and hard and each time one would hit I felt this urge to move from one side to the other. But, being 9 months pregnant, it wasn't exactly easy to turn from side to side, especially now that I was tethered to the bed by two monitors and an IV. One of the nurses asked me to rate my pain level from 1-10, 10 being just having had your arm chopped off. I remember saying an 8 or 9, so yeah...pretty excruciating. Everyone always says that the epidural is the worst part, and it was - but not because the needle hurts, when you're in that kind of pain, one more prick doesn't really seem that significant. It's the having to sit still while they poke a needle into your back...having to sit still and just breathe through the weight of at least 2 or 3 contractions when all you want to do is move and scream. I don't think I ever screamed.
But I did say, "ow-wee." "OW-WEE," for goodness sake! It was all I could muster and I cringed inside as it came out, but there it was.
It only took about 10 minutes for the pain to subside once the epidural was in. The anesthesiologist had given me a super dose right away to quickly compensate for lost time. The dose did take my pain away, but it also left my right side immobile and completely numb. I couldn't even make a fist with my hand. My blood pressure dropped, so they had me lay on my left side to try and counter the effect. Honestly, this part was a little scary and at one point they gave me an oxygen mask to help me breathe.
After my levels evened out, the epidural worked like magic and labor from here on out felt like a breeze. Kyle and I even got a few games of backgammon in before my doctor came in to check on my progression. It was about 12:30pm by this point and when she checked me, I was fully dilated and fully effaced. She broke my water (which I couldn't feel) and asked if I felt an urge to push at all. I didn't, so she folded my legs into a pretzel and said she'd let us rest and would be back in an hour or so.
"When I come back, you'll have a baby!"
The words echoed in my mind. It all seemed so definite, so real, so FAST. Tears started running down my face as I looked over at Kyle and I heard it again, the little soft voice, "Enjoy it...these moments together. It's all about to change. Squeeze his hand a little tighter." They don't warn you about his part of labor..and maybe not everyone feels it. But the last 7 years flashed before my eyes. The first time Kyle and I met at the Sweetbriar house - the summer I helped him paint his room - the day we spent at the vineyard - our wedding day - our honeymoon in Barbados...exploring the little island in a tiny car, driving on the wrong side of the road - our first little apartment on Blair Blvd. - our first house - when Kyle drove me to Florida so I could stand beside the ocean on my birthday - and now this...holding hands in a dimly lit hospital room, waiting to meet our little girl.
Around 1:30pm our nurse asked if I wanted to practice pushing for a little bit.
"YES, let's do this."
The epidural had subsided enough that I could feel pressure when a contraction hit, so I knew when it was time to push. We "practiced" for about 15 minutes before the nurse left to go call my doctor. Once she got to the room, a whirlwind of other people starting filing in the room. I'm not even sure where they all came from or why they were all there, but it didn't really matter because our baby was coming. I pushed for another 15 minutes and she was out. A beautiful, shrill little cry came with her and she was laid on my chest. Her little round head, with little wisps of brown hair covering it, nuzzling into my neck.
Marlowe Mae Williams. 6 lbs. 8 oz., 18 inches long, born on September 16th at 2:08 pm.
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